The 3 strands

According to this web site, nearly 40% of children in the USA are born into unmarried family situations. This statistic is tremendously sad on a multitude of levels. The most obvious conclusion is that marriage is not valued by our society.

For some reason, Mother’s Day weekend was very challenging for me as a father. At several points, I became weary of chasing children and constantly regulating their behavior. The real issue was that I was not tapping into God’s power and trying to do it on my own. I got grumpy and effectively kept a record of wrongs by not giving my kids a fresh, happy start from Dad when they apologized and repented for what seemed like the 489th time :-) (see Matt 18:21-22, which I even read in my QT that morning!).

Luckily for me, I have a spiritual wife who jumped in on multiple occasions when I was losing it. She was joyful and happy with the girls to motivate them to continue with their repentance. She called me on my grumpiness and tried to joke me out of it. And luckily for me I had brothers and sisters at the Portland International Church of Christ to encourage me with the Word of God and their experiences of struggle and victory.

Thankfully my attitude got better on Sunday afternoon as I trusted in God to make things ok, even as we were really late for church on Sunday despite my best efforts. Later on Sunday as we drove from Portland back to Seattle in separate cars (we brought my in-laws’ truck back for them), my wife was the one who needed help as she started to fall asleep on the road. God answered our prayers, getting us back at 10pm after a multitude of stops for various needs.

Looking back at these experiences, I am reminded of several scriptures:

1 Cor. 12:21. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don't need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don't need you!”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

In particular, the last scripture is abundantly clear for me as I watched my sister & brother-in-law team up to care for their six-month-old son. Casey & I went through the same see-saw action with Jade and even more so now with three kids. Without a husband or wife to help you, how on earth can someone imagine they can meet even just the physical needs of a child, much less their mental, emotional, and spiritual needs?

I am so grateful for the Kingdom of God providing a village to raise my children. And I am so grateful to God for being that “third strand” of the rope that cannot be broken. It is very evident to me that I cannot make it without my God. I have an incredible wife, a great job with a supportive boss, and very loving physical and spiritual families. But without God, I am nothing. I might as well give up now and live a hedonistic lifestyle. Life is simply too difficult and not even worth it without God.

Psalms 73:25 states it precisely, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.”

Praise God for all three strands in the cord of Eccl. 4. I could not do what I do without the other two strands. In fact, sometimes I think the other two strands can even heal a broken one… but that’s a whole ‘nuther discussion.